Fear
by Peggy Schultz
Summary: First challenge response for my website. Where ObiWan is blindeddies instead of Tahl in the Death of Hope.


Disclaimer: The Star Wars characters and the Star Wars universe that I borrow from, belong to George Lucas or Jude Watson.  
Author: Peggy Schultz

Email: www.ajourneythrough. Fear

Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Tahl

Timeline: AU version of JA # 15, Obi-Wan is 16.

Rating: PG

Summary: First challenge response for my website. Where Obi-Wan is blinded/dies instead of Tahl in the Death of Hope.

Author's Note: Some parts of this story was taken from the Jedi Apprentice book # 15 The Death of Hope.

Fear

Fear, it was a normal human emotion, but for the Jedi it was an emotion to be suppressed. He had been taught since he was a very young Initiate that Fear leads to Hate, and to use Strength over Fear. But Fear held onto him nonetheless, it squeezed his heart with an agonizing ache, it twisted his stomach into knots, and caused a lump to form in his throat making it difficult to swallow. The Force seemed to scream at him of the urgency for him to find his Padawan and friend.

Qui-Gon followed Balog as another explosion rocked the cave followed by another smaller boom. When Balog suddenly turned into a small tunnel without security sensors, he quickly followed. He was sure the man would lead him to Tahl and Obi-Wan. A gleam of a durasteel door just ahead was the only thing he could see in the dark tunnel.

Balog had paused outside the door to access it, and Qui-Gon watched him intently while keeping out of the man's sight. After the door opened and the man he'd been following entered, Qui-Gon used a burst of speed and leapt through the door seconds before it slid shut. He landed with his lightsaber already ignited.

Balog stood in the center of the room between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. His Padawan was inside the sensory deprivation device that leaned against the cave wall. He could only see his eyes through a small viewscreen; he knew he was alive though. He could feel the boy's weakened signature with the Force. Obi-Wan was trying to reach out to him.

Qui-Gon tore his gaze away from that of his Padawan and glanced in Balog's direction. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Tahl lying on the floor on opposite side of the room from Obi-Wan. She looked weak, and Qui-Gon suspected that she had been put into the sensory deprivation device first.

Balog's sudden laughter reclaimed his full attention. "You think you can threaten me? You think that you can frighten me? What you don't know is that I have all the power here." He held up a small transmitter. "I can take away his life."

Qui-Gon glanced in the direction of his Padawan before returning his gaze to Balog. His heart pounded loudly in his chest reminding him of the drums of the Massassi that he had heard recordings of as an initiate.

"Do you see this?" Balog held the transmitter in the air. "I can give your little friend a last lethal dose. He is very weak, weaker than Tahl I believe. I think it's his smaller size that is causing it. Too bad I don't have enough time to determine that. I wanted to keep them both alive, but I've come to realize that there is no need."

"What do you want?" Qui-Gon asked with another glance at his helpless Padawan.

"Nothing from you," Balog said contemptuously. "You've done enough already. You found this place. Well, your Worker allies won't find anything here when they arrive. No records, nothing to spy on, and nothing to steal."

"You set the weapons room to detonate," Qui-Gon guessed as he noticed Tahl's slight movement out of the corner of his eyes. She was awake now and listening to them.

"I'll be gone before that happens. We have plenty of support in the city. We don't need these followers to accomplish what we need to."

"You don't care what lives are lost."

"I care about Apsolon. My Apsolon," Balog said fiercely. "Not the Apsolon the Workers want. You Jedi are in my way." He stepped back and accessed a door behind him. A tiny space contained a small transport with a bubble-shaped top. Another door was cut into the far wall. Realizing that Balog planned to escape, using Obi-Wan as bait to keep him form stopping him, Qui-Gon was already formulating a plan. He would not allow Balog to hurt his Padawan any further. Obi-Wan should not have been placed in this situation in the first place; he should have been by his side, not Tahl's.

"No," Tahl's weak voice spoke. Qui-Gon could tell she was using all of her strength to project her voice to be louder than a mere whisper. Her efforts worked, when Balog turned to look at her, seeming surprised that she was conscious, Qui-Gon sprung into action.

He had never moved faster or more surely in his life. He knew Balog hadn't seen him. One moment he was standing meters away and the next he was in the air next to him. With careful precision, Qui-Gon brought his lightsaber down, neatly slicing off Balog's finger. The transmitter fell to the floor.

Balog howled with pain and rage as he backed up toward the transport as he fumbled for his blaster with his good hand. Tahl crawled forward as Qui-Gon headed toward her. Another explosion rocked the cave, this one larger than before. The force of the blast almost knocked Qui-Gon to the ground. The sensory deprivation device began to slide. Qui-Gon threw himself toward it and caught it in his arms. He laid it down gently.

"Qui-Gon," Tahl warned from behind him as Balog aimed his blaster at the sensory deprivation device. After gently laying the device on the floor, he leapt to his feet and began to block the blaster fire sending it back at Balog. With a gasp of pain, Balog slumped against the side of the still open doorway and then slid down leaving a streak of red blood along the frame of the door. Without another glance at the man, Qui-Gon swiftly began to cut through the device that held his Padawan prisoner. Obi-Wan's life force began to flicker and he quickened his attempts to free him.

Tahl continued to crawl toward him, as he finally got the device opened and quickly lifted his Padawan out of it. Obi-Wan said nothing; his head flopped against Qui-Gon's chest as if he was unable to lift it. Qui-Gon felt the fear return with full force as he looked at his Padawan. He felt the wrongness of the boy's weakened condition like a speeder slamming into him at maximum power.

"Tahl, can you walk?" He asked, as he got to his feet while cradling Obi-Wan in his arms.

"Yes, I think so," she said her voice not much louder than a whisper. Qui-Gon reached out his hand to help her get to her feet. Then they began to walk toward the opened doorway that Balog was trying to make his escape from. It was a tiny space that contained a small transport with a bubble shaped top. Another door was cut into the far wall; no doubt, it was to allow the exit of the transport into the lake.

"Obi-Wan, can you hear me? We're going to get you out of here, you will be fine you both will be fine," Qui-Gon assured both of them, but the fear once again resurfaced filling him with a foreboding that sent shivers down his spine.

"Master," Obi-Wan finally spoke so quietly that Qui-Gon could barely hear him. "Where's Tahl? I tried to stop Balog from putting her in the…the…"

"Shh, I know Obi-Wan. Tahl is right here, she's okay," he assured his Padawan. He could sense the boy's weakness through the bond they shared and he began to send strength to him. But something worried him; he could sense an intense fear radiating off him. "Obi-Wan, it was not your fault, do you hear me? None of this was your fault. Tahl will be fine. You have no need to fear for her."

"I…I know," Obi-Wan said. As Qui-Gon began to lay Obi-Wan onto the back seat of the transport as gently as possible, he thought his Padawan would not say anything else, but in an even weaker sounding voice, he said "It's dark, I can't…. see you." He reached out with a cold hand to touch Qui-Gon's bearded face before allowing a small smile to grace his face. It was at that moment that Qui-Gon noticed through the dim light of the opened door that his Padawan's now opened eyes stared straight ahead, unfocused and unseeing.

Once again, the fear assaulted him as he wondered if he could continue his Padawan's training once they returned to the Temple. Perhaps the blindness was a temporary result of the sensory deprivation device, perhaps the Temple healers will be able to reverse the effects, and Obi-Wan will soon be back to his usual self.

"We're going to get out of here, Padawan, rest now, we will be home soon." Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan and walked around the other side of the transport to where Tahl struggled to get into the vessel.

Six hours later, after vacating Balog's transport and boarding the ship that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had came to New Apsolon on, they were finally back at the Temple. The healers had quickly rushed Tahl and Obi-Wan to the healers' wing, where Qui-Gon sat in the waiting room waiting for word of his Padawan. He sat motionless on the cushioned chair desperately trying to find his calm center, although any amount of calmness was proving elusive to him.

As the sound of the doors sliding open with a hiss that evaded the quiet of the waiting room, its only occupant immediately raised his head to see who had entered. He hoped it would be a healer, but instead he watched as Master Yoda entered the room on his hover chair followed by Master Windu.

"Another team of Jedi sent to New Apsolon we have," Yoda said as the hover chair stopped near Qui-Gon. Mace sat on a chair beside the longhaired Master. "Hear anything about Tahl or Obi-Wan have you?"

"Tahl is fine, she's resting. Healer Damar says she just needs a lot of rest because she's weak from the device. They are still running tests on Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon replied with a sigh, as he lowered his head to rest on his hands while his elbows rested on his knees.

"Qui-Gon, it wasn't your fault," Mace told him.

"Wasn't it? I left him behind because Chancellor Valorum thought my mission would be too difficult. I left him in Tahl's care and he went on a mission with her that turned out to be more dangerous than my mission was. He should have been by my side. Now he may be permanently blind too."

"Stop this you will," Yoda said, banging his gimer stick on one of the vacant chairs. "Encouraged Tahl to take Obi-Wan with her the Council did. Thought good it would be for him to work with her we did. Good at negotiating your Padawan will be, very persuasive he is."

Qui-Gon looked at the two Masters, uncertain of what exactly Yoda was trying to say.

"Obi-Wan told us that he had a vision. He said it was important that he be allowed to go with Tahl. We agreed it would be a good learning experience for him to work with another Master and Padawan team, but he insisted that Bant not go along on the mission with them. We encouraged Tahl to take him because of the vision. Tahl, however, was reluctant to let either of them go, but eventually agreed to let your Padawan go along." Mace explained.

"He's never had visions before," Qui-Gon commented.

"Visions he has had occasionally since toddler he was. This vision, the first since becoming your Padawan it was," Yoda stated.

"All eight of his visions have come true, or were prevented," Mace explained. The last one he told me about was just before he left to go to Bandomeer. He said that you and he were trapped in mines and he told you that he would use himself to blow up the mine so that you could escape and get everyone else out of the mines too. He told me that you said that you would find another way and you called him Padawan. I believe I recall you mentioning something along those lines in your report when you and Obi-Wan finally returned to the Temple for the first time as Master and Padawan."

"He never told me about having any visions," Qui-Gon said looking Mace in the eyes.

"Told him I did that tell you he should, but chose not to he did," Yoda sighed.

"Is that why he didn't argue with me when I told him I thought it would be best if he didn't go on the mission with me?" Qui-Gon inquired.

"Most likely," Mace nodded.

"Did he know that he would be hurt if he went to save Tahl?" Qui-Gon asked.

"He told us he had to prevent Tahl's death in order to save you. He said he knew how to do it, and that he needed to be the one to go with her," Mace took a deep breath before continuing. "He said if you knew you would insist on going with him or leaving him behind. I don't know if he knew he would be injured or put in that device too, but he was adamant on going. He waited to tell us about the vision until you had already left the Temple. He reminded me a lot of you, my friend."

Before he could say anything else the doors slid open again, this time Healer Damar entered the room, followed by his twelve-year-old Twi'lek Padawan. Qui-Gon once again felt the familiar stab of fear tear through his heart as he scrutinized the dark haired and dark eyed human healer. The man gave no indication of whether he was bringing good or bad news. Qui-Gon was suddenly afraid that his Padawan would never be the same again.

"Masters Yoda and Windu, I wasn't expecting to find you both here," Damar grinned slightly.

"Concerned for Knight Tahl and Padawan Kenobi we are," Yoda informed him.

"Well Knight Tahl will be fine, she just needs rest. From what I understand she was not in the sensory deprivation device long enough to cause serious damage. She said that Obi-Wan fought with Balog. He was knocked unconscious while trying to put her in the device. She said Balog was so angry that he took her out early and put Obi-Wan in it as soon as he began to regain consciousness, until you found him Qui-Gon."

"Is he alright?" Qui-Gon's voice cracked as he spoke the words.

"He has a slight concussion, and will need to stay here for about two weeks. He will be fine he's a fighter. The device was not kind to his senses though, I must tell you. He will have some trouble hearing when he first wakes up, and may hear a slight ringing in his ears. He may have some trouble smelling and tasting for a few days too."

"What about his eyes? Will he ever see again?" Qui-Gon questioned.

"His eyes were damaged the worst, but I found no signs of any permanent damage to his eyes. We have a medicated bandage over his eyes right now because they were irritated. We will probably remove it tomorrow evening; he may not see clearly for a few weeks though. I'm not certain how this will affect him exactly, he may see spots in his vision, he may see everything blurry, or he may just see total darkness for a few days, but I'm positive there will be no lasting damage. His sense of touch may have also been affected because he was not conscious throughout most of my examination. I am not certain if he could feel what I was doing, or if he could feel every touch ten times more than before." The healer explained.

Without realization, Qui-Gon had held his breath as he anxiously waited the healer's answer. He released the breath and stood up, "Can I see him?"

"Yes, he should be waking up soon," Damar nodded and stepped aside as the taller man hurried toward the doorway without hesitation.

Qui-Gon sat in the recovery room with his Padawan for twenty minutes, silently thanking every god that he could think of for giving his Padawan his sight back. Obi-Wan's voice drew his attention down to the boy who lay on the sleep couch.

"Master," the boy asked tentatively, "Are you here?" His voice came out as a whisper but it was the best sound Qui-Gon had heard all day.

"Yes Padawan, I'm here." Qui-Gon said. "How do you feel?"

Obi-Wan grimaced, "Master, please don't yell. I can hear you."

"I wasn't yelling Padawan," Qui-Gon said. Suddenly remembering what Healer Damar had told him, he began to whisper. "It's from the sensory deprivation device Obi-Wan, your auditory nerves apparently are a little sensitive right now."

"Oh," Obi-Wan frowned. "Is Tahl alright?"

"Yes Tahl is fine; she's resting in another recovery room."

Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan nodded his head slightly with a frown as he flexed his fingers back and forth over the material of the blanket that covered him from the waist down.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, well I don't know. I'm scared Master. What will I do now?"

"What do you mean Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked sensing the boy's desperation and sadness.

"I… I'm blind, my hearing is oversensitive, and my entire body feels numb. I won't be able to remain a Padawan, I… would be a hindrance to you, I know that; but what will happen to me. I can't go to the Agr-"

"Obi-Wan, shh…. You are not going anywhere. You are my Padawan and you will remain my Padawan until the day I cut that braid. Your senses are only temporarily affected by the device. You are not permanently blind, Obi-Wan. Your vision might be blurry or spotted for a few days though."

"But Master, I can't see anything at all. My eyes are open and all I see is darkness. I also can't tell where you are with the Force. I can sense you near by, but it feels like you're moving around the room, but you sound very close, too close."

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon grinned. "I would be surprised if you could see anything right now. Healer Damar has a medicated bandage covering your eyes; they were irritated. I assume that because everything feels numb to you right now that you are not able to feel the bandage over your eyes. As for the Force, I'm sure that it is also a temporary side effect of the device, and you have nothing to worry about."

"Really? I can still be a Jedi, and I will still have my vision?"

"Yes, my Padawan. Now speaking of visions, why didn't you tell me that you had visions of the future that tend to come true?" Qui-Gon could sense his Padawan's sudden fear at the question, and was sure that if his eyes had not been hidden, they would be opened wide.

"Master Yoda told you?"

"Yes. Obi-Wan you don't have anything to fear, you can tell me anything."

"But you are always telling me about focusing on the here and now. I thought you would not like my visions," Obi-Wan said his voice remained quiet.

"Visions of the future are quite different, I assure you. Besides any visions that allow you to prevent my friends from becoming one with the Force can't be all that bad, although, I could do without the part where you put yourself in danger," Qui-Gon told him.

For the first time since regaining consciousness, Obi-Wan smiled. "I'm sorry Master, but I knew that if I was there and Balog had to put me in the device too that Master Tahl wouldn't have been in it long enough to die. I didn't even think about what could happen to me until you got me out of the device and I couldn't see."

"I know Padawan; you tend to put your life at risk in order to help people quite often. While it is a very endearing quality, it is a very scary prospect to have to watch you do it. But I wouldn't have you any other way."

The End 


End file.
